Sunday, October 03, 2010

Dear Brother

This is my therapy. Creativity hand in hand with Suffering, and while much of my older work symbolizes that concept. So much has changed from those days. I will always enjoy writing, but much of it represents a part of my life that has come and gone. The need for it has diminished, hence it's decline over the last few years.

This piece is a homage to that based on some things that have been going on lately. However, this has been more of it venting exercise than a woeful situation.

What I'm essentially trying to say is. I generally write now-adays from being triggered into something, rather than in direct response to my life experiences (I suppose this statement is half-true) So don't be surprised if it's out of context, generally my work tends to be hyperbolized when it comes to emotions.....

Well I'm rambling so here!

Dear Brother

From the moment my eyes first opened, I have cursed my dreaded brother, Fate. Long throughout my life he has tormented me. Fate, a presence that every man has learned to fear, for with that name comes the fear of what lies ahead, and the terrible, yet inevitable outcome that awaits each and every one of us. Even from my own perspective, my brother has been objectified with many faces. From the beginning of my journey, I had felt his presence; binding me to a life of misery. It was sorrow and pain that set me on my journey, and no matter how valiant my efforts were I could not escape the grasp of my cursed brother; Bound… By Fate. Much of my life was spent in fear, and in agony from this one certainty, and as time pressed onward I would fight, stumble, and submit; Submit… to the will of Fate.

For years I pondered alone at night. Gazing up into an empty sky, desperately searching for a star, a light, anything that could bring hope into a hopeless life. For many nights I waited, and waited, and no stars would shine for me. I found myself lost in a void of my thoughts; endlessly searching through an empty world. I made my strides, my leaps and bounds, so close that I thought I could fly… Yet no matter my cause, or my reason I could not escape; Escape… The Chains of Fate. For a long time I suffered… with no way to defend myself… but all was not lost, as one day I would find the strength to break free, but I would need somewhere to prepare. And I found my upper hand. With the love that beat in my heart I would find the hope to persevere. And in the Sanctuary of my mind… I could never be beaten…

In this world, my brother is not seen, yet he is a presence that none can deny.

No man has claimed to see Brother Fate, but his deeds are forever known. Yet, in the minds eye, he can be tangible, physical. It is here that he could be defeated… and it is here that I could have the power to fight him…And so the Clash began. I fought for freedom, I fought for peace, and while outside of these delusions of grandeur I gained no ground. I found something I had lost for a long time… I had hope.

I’ve written of my struggles in other places. I’ve written of the people that have come and gone from my life; those that have joined, and left, my path. Yet throughout my travels it has been Brother Fate who always stood near. It would take years for me to finally see the truth that was my brother. Through the fear of many, a symbol of doom, a sign of death, sorrow, and grief. A sign of what was to come, and what cannot be redesigned. Yet now, after all this time has passed. I now see, that my brother wears many faces. We all shall meet with our Brother someday. And while that may be inevitable, the path that leads us to him is not. Fate cam be made, Fate can be Forged. And the reins can be taken by the hands of men. We do not have to fear him. I do not have to fight him. Not anymore…

It has taken a decade of suffering, of pain, of sorrow, of joy, of wonder, and of amazement to truly open my eyes. All of the woe, and misery that I have experienced, coupled with all my precious memories, have forged me into the man you see before you. The Fire still burns in my eyes, and the battle still wages from within. I will never stop fighting, because it is that fight that brings me hope, and the resolve to never give up. And though we’ve had our sibling rivalry, I owe all to my Dear Brother…

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