Rebirth...

I haven't really been myself lately. I've had some things on my mind that have really tested me mentally and emotionally, but I'm to blame. I've made my situation stressful, tense and frustrating. And I fell back upon some old habits I'm not particularly proud of... (Nothing Illegal people!) and over the last few weeks I can certainly see that I've learned a lot about the man that I truly am... My words, my principles, my values, deep down they hold true... and define me... Feelings have been hurt, and friendships have been tested. But in the end... This is where I'm at... I've overcome my demons and although I'm still a little confused... I'm happy... Honestly, genuinely, truly. I am happy. And the first time in a LONG LONG LONG Time... I've felt the inspiration to write from that emotion... Not for friends, not for people I care about... This one's for me... and there is truth in these words... I am on my way... ^_^

Rebirth

I feel a new chapter has begun in my life…
Strange it seems…
As the previous entry seemed so short…
Time can change a life so quickly…
The path you walk…
The friends you have…
The Feelings you hold…
All the things you feel you can never let go of…
And just like that…
Your world changes…
Friendships run their course …
Feelings fade…
Life as you know it is lost…
Gone without a trace…
And you stand there alone…
Wondering where the time went…?
And after you’ve picked up the pieces of your life…
You take that first step forward…
And you’re on your way…
I’ve traversed much in my life…
I’ve seen friendships come and go…
I’ve held a heart in my hands…
If only briefly…
Yet too have I lost my own heart…
Had it shattered…
I’ve lost the will to fight…
And my faith in humanity…
I have succumbed to the darkness in my mind…
Much has come and gone…
I’ve fallen down many valleys…
Yet, through all of them…
I’ve found a hill to climb…
For no slope is impossible…
I have traveled down so many roads…
Many alone…
Some with the friends I’ve found along the way…
Telling our stories as we go…
Sharing our dreams with those precious few…
And our secrets with even fewer…
Yet, when the day is done…
I find myself where I am now…
On my own…
Gazing upon those same stars every night…
Dreaming of the fateful day…
When they shall shine upon this path…
And bring that light into my life…
Knowing in my heart…
That I’ll find what I seek…
Someday…
I may walk my own path…
But this is the life I have chosen…
To be a dreamer…
No…
To be human...
I have to face my Fate alone…
For no man can save another from his destiny…
Nor should he…
I am…
And must be…
My own Hero…
My own Savior…
My own Freedom
I’ll find many more along the way…
The friends that will come and go…
Those special few that inspire me…
And Drive me ever onward…
I’ll find them along the way…
And I’ll always share this road…
With any that would walk with me…
And so…
Like every chapter before it…
I find myself standing here…
Facing the dream that began it all…
The face that started this journey…
I was a boy when we began…
But I stand before him now…
A Man…
No longer living in his shadow…
The man I would strive to follow
But never become
I know now…
He is not my potential…
But rather the man I am through my own eyes…
That vision of who I am…
It has never been more vivid
More clear…
Than it is here and now…
I will never hold that power…
I will never fly…
Never Fight…
Never truly be that man…
A dream that truly… cannot come true…
But as I gaze into that Dream…
And look into those Crimson Eyes…
I see my own courage…
My Strength…
My Will…
The Perseverance that makes me who I am…
And has brought me here today…
That power lives through me…
And I’ll never lose it…
Never…
I’ve lost my way so many times…
I’ve faltered from the hope that defines me…
Now…
Once again…
I can finally say once more…
I have found myself…
My Salvation…
My Peace…
I am reborn…

Hopeless as ever...

I hope this means something to someone someday...
Especially the person it was written for...
if it doesn't already...

Life remains uncertain…
From the moment we enter this world…
From the time we begin this journey…
Until we see it through to the end…
The future…
What lies in store for us…
Remains an everlasting enigma…
We spend our days walking toward that fate…
Through sunny skies…
And starless nights…
Yet through both we keep walking…
Eyes always fixed on what lies ahead…
Only to briefly bask in what we’ve already crossed…
Companions come and go along the way…
Friends are made and lost…
As those years go marching by…
I have crossed many roads in my day…
Seen many dreams…
Moments of triumph…
And of pain…
I know what it means to belong…
And what it means to be alone…
I have seen this world…
And the people who dwell within…
And yet in all of my travels…
I have never met someone…
Quite like you…
You whose mind challenges and inspires at every turn…
Whose eyes gaze upon a world I have never known…
But have always wanted to find…
Your heart tells its own story…
Filled with both tears and smiles…
Darkness and Light…
Hope… and despair…
Our paths may be different…
You and I still may walk alone…
Guided only by our hearts…
Gazing upon those starless nights…
Pondering the future…
As we slowly march toward what is to come…
But when the dust settles…
When the fog finally burns through…
I find myself…
Standing by you…
Hand in hand…
Side by side…
Gazing just beyond the horizon…
With the starry skies above…
With the dark abyss below…
And as I look into those eyes…
To read the story they tell…
With the scars of the past…
The Fear…
The Uncertainty…
And maybe just a bit of hope…
I see the beauty…
The majesty…
The light shining in you…
Whatever is meant for us…
Whatever the future may bring…
Know this to be true:

I’ll fly with you into that sky…
Upon our wings we’ll soar…
I’ll Fall with you into those depths…
To darkness evermore…
No matter what tomorrow hides…
Above… or down below…
As long as we stand side by side…
I’ll never let you go…

If I could have these words be true…
I’ll know there’s hope for me…
I hope that I have found in you…
The Friendship…
You’ve found in me…

Hope...

To the people who actually come on here and read this stuff

I'm sure this title seems rather ironic, considering the piece itself...

But this is how I deal with what happens...

The emotions are on the paper...

and no longer in my mind...

And that's how I keep going...

Hope

How do I stand here now…

As the rain pours down upon my broken body…

The wind howling in the night..

How do I keep walking forward?

When the pain gets so unbearable…

How can I gaze upon a Crimson Sky…

When Darkness is all I have ever known…

Hope has kept me going for so long…

It has driven me to keep fighting in this war we call life…

It has inspired me… Given me faith…

That brighter days do come…

That loneliness can end…

That dreams can come true…

But in the end…

The shield of hope is only so strong…

And even it can falter under the hand of fate…

I have grown so tired…

So tired of this shattered existence…

The light fades by the moment…

My dreams are lost to time…

Love taunts me as it always has…

Bringing me close…

Only to push me just out of reach…

Sometimes I gaze into this darkness…

And wish that it was all a nightmare…

A Bad dream…

A Dark and terrible place…

That would disappear when awoken…

Lost forever to Oblivion…

Maybe this truly is Destiny…

Maybe this is the price I have to pay…

For the strength given to me…

To have a chance at life…

All those years ago…

Maybe this life…

Is the burden I must bear…

To live such a life…

Is to live it alone…

And so… Here I am…

A Face that no one will see…

A Voice that no one will hear…

A Heart that no one will hold…

I stand here now…

Defeated…

Broken…

And Alone…

And yet…

Through the darkness of this night…

Through the rain pouring down on me…

Not a tear has been shed…

Not one drop…

What’s left to stave the tide…?

What else can cast the darkness away…

All I have to save myself…

Before I am taken…

I am all that stands…

Between the void and myself…

My Strength…

My Resolve…

My Hope…

For Hope…

Is all that I am…

And Hope…

Is all that I have left…

Cousin's Wedding Poem

My cousin asked me to write a poem for her wedding... so I did!

This world is always turning…
All the days we walk this earth…
Coming and going…
With a brand new day dawning…
As yesterday fades behind us…
And yet we drift in the currents of time…
Eyes always on what’s further down the bend…
Rushing from one happening to the next…
One has to ask…
Where do all those moments go?
The hours…?
The minutes…?
We never stop to savor the moment…
And so we lose those precious times…
All the simple moments in life…
The times we overlook…
But such is the way of life…
In this fast paced world we live in…
Why can’t we enjoy those simple moments anymore?
The sound of children’s laughter…
The majesty of a sunset…
A lovers embrace…
Why can’t we stop and take pride in those special moments?
When children find their place in the world…
And set out on the journeys of their lives…
To find their happiness…
To start their own families…
When boys become men…
And when girls grow up to be their brides…
Today we’ve been given that chance…
Today we’ve chosen to break away from the current…
Today we’ve stopped the world from turning…
To hold onto these moments…
To embrace our two families…
As they become one…

And so here we are…
Ready to celebrate this joyous union…
Of two lives…
Of two hearts…
Of two souls that have intertwined…
We must treasure this moment…
Until the ends of time…

And as I gaze upon the two of you…
Cousin Jenny…
And Husband Jimmy…
I can only hope that I too…
May one day find the love that you two hold right now…
Together…

I am...

Well it's certainly been a while (as usual) since I've come up with something new...
This is something that's been eating at me for a while... so I figured I'd finally take a stab at it...
I'm happy with what came of it...


I AM
(Yes I know I've used the title before but I like this piece a lot better)

Lost as lost can be…

Wading my way through uncertainty…

Just what does brother Fate have…

In store for the likes of me…?

I dream of clarity…

Of destiny…

My harmony in the depths of chaos…

A voice that echoes through the symphony of life…

A voice that speaks only two words…

I am…

Words alone…

With infinite possibilities together…

Two words with one meaning…

To exist…

To live…

To be…

I am…

The life I have lived…

The life I have chosen…

Sides of a chasm…

This path I walk…

With the hopes that lie ahead…

In the shroud of the vast unknown…

I am…

Always running forward…

Dragging behind me my glory and wonders…

My mistakes and my blunders…

The scars of my life that I can’t escape

Wounds of the body…

Wounds of the mind…

Wounds of the soul…

It really never ends…

The shadows we cast in our hearts…

The Demons we all possess…

Buried away with the tides of time…

Yet in the end our past returns…

One way or another…

I am…

Two words that I have abused in this life…

Two words that describe too many lives for one man to live…

In the struggle to find which one truly defines him…

But in truth… All of them do…

In truth… None of them do…

I am…

Two words I cannot escape from…

As I fight those that stand in my way…

As I stand tall for those at my side who cannot…

As I travel through this age we live in…

Seeking the Dreams that dance inside my head…

Searching for the strength to become that which I want to be…

Still hoping for the love that still remains unseen…

I am…

A man who wants a destiny of his own…

An inspirer of the mind and soul…

A forger of undying hope..

And a fool to place my faith in the world…

I am…

Many Things

Many Faces…

Many Lives…

A Man…

A Dreamer…

A Traveler…

A Chronian in thoughts and Dreams…

A friend…

A life…

A Heart…

I am…

The Modern Day Minstrel…

The Optimist Eternal…

The Crimson Dreamer…

The Master of Time…

I am…

So many things…

In Truth and Fantasy…

In Thought and Fact…

So many faces…

So many voices…

All screaming…

All shouting…

All singing…

In the hopes of finding those two words…

In the travels of this life…

In the moments of this time…

As each passes by…

I search to find the question …

To which I can answer…

I Am…