Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Girl in My Dreams...

I think I've been wanting to write this for a few months now. The words never really came out right until now. I have a lot of regrets and I've made a lot of mistakes. And who knows: maybe those mistakes have prevented a lot of opportunities. Or maybe I'm just really hard on myself. Either way, it doesn't really matter. What's past is past. I have to live with those mistakes, and I should be happy that I've made them. It's finally allowing me to break the cycle. And things will suck, and I won't be surprised if that trend continues for a while... but it will change. It always has in my life.

 Anyway:

The Girl In My Dreams


A lonely child lays upon a winter’s field. He gazes upward, watching the snow slowly fall around him. Piece by piece dances across the sky in a symphony of white. The boy’s thoughts are miles away from the field, from the snow, or the images of winter before him. His thoughts sink into his heart, for it is young love that steals his gaze. A young lady that he admires from afar. Does she place her own eyes upon him? And if she does, would he have the courage to face her? The boy cannot answer these questions. His mind awash in fear and doubt. The boy would never have his moment, for brother fate had other plans for him. Alas, the boy was a dreamer, and so he dreamt of her. He dreamt of walking by her side; hand in hand.  He dreamt of sharing a kiss and falling in love… He dreamt of a future so far out of reach. A future he would never see. Yet even though their paths would never cross, the boy still had the dreams he forged. In fact the girl in his dreams was quite lovely. A beauty far beyond the muse that inspired her. The boy was struck with passion and he soon became lost in the dream.

Long had the boy soared upon his dreams. He was a lonely child, alone in the world around him. A world turned its back to him, and in his sorrow he cried out for a hero. Yet, no one would answer his call. He would have no champion, he would see no savior, He would not be saved. The boy burrowed deep inside his head, as the darkness was coming to claim him. It was here that he discovered the magic of his dreams. The boy soon realized that he could dream his own hero to fight the darkness that dwelled in the world around him. He could not change this world, but his dreams could whisk himself away from the world that left him behind. He could build his own world, where he was happy, where he was loved, where he was free. He began to sing of the power he held within himself. And thus, the Dreamer’s song began.

The boy would find the girl again…but in her eyes he saw the girl in his dreams. In her face he saw the beauty that he had created. The boy became enamored with the girl, and though he thought he may win her heart. He was soundly defeated. The boy would lose and find his way; in matters of life and love, yet he always carried the girl in his dreams with him. The time would come when he would let go of the girl he once admired so, and another would catch his eye. Alas, the boy would stumble and fall, and when he became lonely again; the dream girl would always be waiting to care for him.

The boy would become a man. And the man would take many a journey. He would travel to distant lands and explore strange and wonderful places. The man would learn many things and find a place and a people to call his own; a home the boy could never find. Yet, even so far away from home, the girl in his dreams followed. She would come by many names, she would be seen as many faces. And always, she would save the man when loneliness took him. She would always steal the faces of those that caught his eye. And he would lose himself in her eyes. Time and time again. The man would continue to grow older, yet in his heart, he was still that boy gazing upon the snow. He was still the boy chasing the girl who would never look upon him. He was still the dreamer; dreaming to save himself from the lonely world he feared so deeply. With his eyes opened, he tore himself away from her. He would no longer feed her, he would no longer run to her. He would chose to be alone.

Now the man finds himself lost. The girl in his dreams is gone, and he knows not if she will return one day to haunt him or to heal him. He looks up and he looks forward. There is still more road upon his path, and Brother Fate still watches.
Tonight he gazes upon the stars…
From a lonely room…
In a lonely house…
He sleeps in a lonely city…
He wanders across a lonely planet…
And in his aching heart…
The boy has found his freedom…