Wednesday, December 22, 2004

The Cycle

New work up... Havn't had a good day...

The Cycle

The cycle continues onward... as I slowly roll into the depths... Always succumbing to Fates grip...
Darkness envelops me as I fall into the abyss.... My heart writhes in pain, as Fate has found another way to deceive me... Finally things begin to change... and life slowly shapes to my path... and Happiness echoes in my soul... My friendships grow... and my courage is strong... I think that I feel the winds of love begin to blow in my direction... I am free... or so I think... Then the inevitable happens, and all the dreams I have fought for are shattered, and the truths in my mind are lost... I hate this... this cycle of mine... It has excited for years... but I cannot defeat it... I cannot change Fate... for I am merely a pawn in this game of life... I give my heart and soul to the people I care about, for nothing in return... and receive only pain from them... I always thought that hope lived in them... that They would be my wings.... but as each cycle rolls by, the truth seems obvious... it is in the darker stages, the beginning of the cycle, that those loved ones look out for me... They are there to bring me to the light... but as the wheel nears its end, they are nowhere to be found... not beside me... Emptiness... that is what I feel... I want to show my love to these people... yet a simple gift cannot supply that yearning... and even then, a bitter emptiness waits for me just around the corner... Love has been lost and forgotten.... and Friendships that were once blooming begin to wither... until the cycle calls for them again.... I feel betrayed... betrayed by myself... for how I could be so foolish... so na├»ve... I trusted them, but they do not share my feelings of compassion... I am but a pawn that they can control, for I will bed to their every whim... in search of favor... only to find an empty friendship after the deeds are done... I am a fool... Foolish enough to believe that I still have a chance with the love of my life... Foolish enough to believe that things have changed... because they haven’t... They never did... I’ve just adapted to them. And people come and go from my life... friends and foes alike, and for every foe gone, another takes his place, and for a friend lost, a shell to breed false hope. For every day that has passed... I have learned and forgotten the one truth that shall always follow me... I do not belong in this world... and I never will...


Sunday, December 19, 2004

Just venting...

Well... I FINALLY wrote something new... it took a really shitty weekend... but I finally wrote something new...

It doesnt really have a title, but I'm happy to finally write something, maybe I'll get back into a streak again.

Darkness deals another blow...
And Tears fall down my empty face...
Helpless in a pile of snow...
Trapped inside this place...
I thought things well going well...
That life was going my way...
But once again the world is hell...
Each and every day...
I’ve failed to bring a victory...
I’ve fallen to despair…
I’ve lost my sense of destiny...
In Fates diabolical lair...
Another day of misery, oh how can It get worse?
Yet its just another peril you see, in my oh so wonderful curse…
It's haunted me since I was born, it almost killed me then…
It's followed me through agony, time and time again…
Fall deep into the void...
Into the depths I go...
Now is the time you give me grief
Now is the time you show...
You push me around like a raggedy doll...
You slowly tear my wings...
And laugh at me for all I do...
In any and all things...
And as each season rolls along...
The grief returns again...
They try once more to make more wrong...
Make me a shattered man...
Anger is the power of rage...
The Fire held inside...
To let lose the monster from his cage...
With Raging Fury flied...
So now I lie in Crimson snow...
Freezing in my sorrow...
Toiling every second away...
Not hoping for tomorrow…
Nothing good will come of me, no matter how hard I try…
Pain rears its ugly head every time I pass on by...
But with every curse, a hidden blessing hides from normal view...
That helps to break the spell by whatever it’s supposed to do...
And while I’ve gone to hell and back, I have this blessing too...
And if I really had to say... I’d say that blessings you...
I’ve said this fifty thousand times… and I will say it once more...
You’re the key that’s gotten me to open up the door...
To a better world, a better place, a better way of life...
You healed me of my painful wounds… and eased me of my strife...
I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for you… or at least be very lost...
And someday I will repay you no matter what the cost...
And while we’re face to face much less... and now there’s no more love...
I still dream that you and I shall fly in skies above...
Friendship is my purpose now... to do the best I do...

I shall not let this happen to thee... and this I promise you.