I am...

Well it's certainly been a while (as usual) since I've come up with something new...
This is something that's been eating at me for a while... so I figured I'd finally take a stab at it...
I'm happy with what came of it...


I AM
(Yes I know I've used the title before but I like this piece a lot better)

Lost as lost can be…

Wading my way through uncertainty…

Just what does brother Fate have…

In store for the likes of me…?

I dream of clarity…

Of destiny…

My harmony in the depths of chaos…

A voice that echoes through the symphony of life…

A voice that speaks only two words…

I am…

Words alone…

With infinite possibilities together…

Two words with one meaning…

To exist…

To live…

To be…

I am…

The life I have lived…

The life I have chosen…

Sides of a chasm…

This path I walk…

With the hopes that lie ahead…

In the shroud of the vast unknown…

I am…

Always running forward…

Dragging behind me my glory and wonders…

My mistakes and my blunders…

The scars of my life that I can’t escape

Wounds of the body…

Wounds of the mind…

Wounds of the soul…

It really never ends…

The shadows we cast in our hearts…

The Demons we all possess…

Buried away with the tides of time…

Yet in the end our past returns…

One way or another…

I am…

Two words that I have abused in this life…

Two words that describe too many lives for one man to live…

In the struggle to find which one truly defines him…

But in truth… All of them do…

In truth… None of them do…

I am…

Two words I cannot escape from…

As I fight those that stand in my way…

As I stand tall for those at my side who cannot…

As I travel through this age we live in…

Seeking the Dreams that dance inside my head…

Searching for the strength to become that which I want to be…

Still hoping for the love that still remains unseen…

I am…

A man who wants a destiny of his own…

An inspirer of the mind and soul…

A forger of undying hope..

And a fool to place my faith in the world…

I am…

Many Things

Many Faces…

Many Lives…

A Man…

A Dreamer…

A Traveler…

A Chronian in thoughts and Dreams…

A friend…

A life…

A Heart…

I am…

The Modern Day Minstrel…

The Optimist Eternal…

The Crimson Dreamer…

The Master of Time…

I am…

So many things…

In Truth and Fantasy…

In Thought and Fact…

So many faces…

So many voices…

All screaming…

All shouting…

All singing…

In the hopes of finding those two words…

In the travels of this life…

In the moments of this time…

As each passes by…

I search to find the question …

To which I can answer…

I Am…

The Life of A Dreamer

This is a reprisal of my old poem, "The Thoughts of a Dreamer". I've had this idea in my head for a few days and wanted to get it out of my head... so here it is...

The Life of a Dreamer

A Dreamer’s gaze into the light

Upon the crossroads of his life...

Head filled with the stories that make up his journey...

And the thirst for the knowledge that will set him free...

Searching for that single star in the sky...

He begins to question himself...

The life he has lived...

The paths he could have taken...

Time well spent...

And Moments passed by...

The companions met along the way...

And former friends that fade away...

The lives of all that touched his heart...

The loss of those whom he holds dear...

He ponders the logic of his life...

What have I achieved in this life of mine?

Have I made use? Or wasted my time...

What am I in this here and now?

Who is it that I’ve become?

Am I the man I want to be?

And still, where is my destiny?

The questions I’ve known all across my life...

And the answers I may never know...

The places found where I belong...

And dearest friends until we die...

Yet each and all may slip away...

To fade in never ending darkness...

The chill that comes when raindrops fall...

The thrill of life when lived so full...

The pain that chokes a shattered heart...

The taste of love I’ve never known...

Yet each of us will someday fall...

Into that darkness evermore...

Yet only few can safely say...

That he has persevered this day...

And through the darkness standing tall...

Until light of dawn should call...

Singing the song of the heart...

That echoes in each of us...

Gazing through that velvet sky...

Through starless nights and tears of rain...

Through warmth of love and chill of pain...

This is what it means to be...

To be a Dreamer..

To sing their song and live their life...

To have a faith that can pierce the storm...

To brave the darkness and endure the pain...

To embrace the love and face your fears...

To hold onto your dreams and dry your tears...

This is what it means to live through my eyes...

As I stand here now...

At the Crossroads of my life...

Alone and Shattered...

Standing Tall...

A Year

A Year

It took a year to bring him home...
For passion to re-burn...
To open his forgotten tome...
The Dreamer would return...

Long ago he left behind...
That war he’d one day wage...
He sealed the gateway to his mind...
His spirit’s golden age...

He waved farewell to withered past...
And all his old mistake.
This man would become free at last...
Another path he’d take...

He changed the man he’d want to be...
More practical it seem...
But he had lost his destiny...
This man had lost his dream...

The things he forged would fade away...
And never be the same...
His moments transformed day by day...
From marvelous to mundane...

And yet he could not run from it...
The mistakes that he once made...
Doomed to repeat as was saw fit...
By long forgotten Fate...

So all behind a blinded eye...
He went along his course...
No longer would he dream to fly...
He’d locked away the source...

His soul would slide into the depths
And time slowly went by...
The stars would disappear
As he looked up into the sky...

But deep inside this lonely being...
Still beat the Dreamer’s song
And soon he’d need his heart to sing
As peace would soon be gone...

When he caught the slippery slope...
He peered into his mind...
And there he found forgotten hope
He thought he’d never find...

My dreams have not forsaken me...
My pain has made me strong...
My soul has finally set me free...
To where I now belong...

So here I stand a tempered man
One no longer scarred...
From forlorn when my path began
and now, benevolent bard.

Upon myself I cast this name...
A minstrel of modern day...
And maybe I shall find my fame...
Since dreams don’t fade away...

The Crimson Dreamer, him and I
The man I want to be...
And as I see this brand new sky...
I know that I am free...

Truth

A fool I’ve been...

Living out this life of mine...

Dreaming of the unknown future that is supposed to cross my path...

Seeking out fortune and power, wisdom and faith...

The never ending struggle against brother fate...

The story goes on day after day...

And as the pages continue to turn...

The more I see how this world truly is...

The truth has lost meaning in this existence...

How is it that an man such as I...

Built of dignity and pride...

On honesty and virtue...

How is it that I must fall?

Every fool on this earth has succumbed to fate...

Has tasted corruption...

Has Sinned...

But when the hour of judgment comes upon me...

And despite my sins I speak the truth...

It is I who is cast guilty in the name of fate...

I am the one to fall...

Naïve in the shifting winds of the world...

Honest too the ends of the earth...

Foolish beyond any man before me...

Is this another lesson to be learned?

Or does the same old story go on and on and on...?

A lesson in a futile struggle...

Such promise I had in the good old days...

Such ambition, such dedication...

Only to be snuffed out by the fate...

But when the dusk clears, and the verdict made...

It is I to blame...

It is I who cursed my self...

It is I who pleaded guilty...

Honesty...

Truth...

Virtue...

Even in the eyes of corruption

In Vice...

In Sin...

I stand tall to how I have grown to be...

And this is not a strength...

But a downfall...

I’ll be honest until the day I no longer walk this earth...

I’ll be truthful beyond the day that I am left behind...

I’ll be a good man... even when I am alone and have no one left in this world...

And now I stand at a crossroads...

To which not even I know the way to go...

On one hand, lies the path I’ve walked...

With friend and foe alike....

But that path brings me back to the choices I’ve made...

And The black stain that shall follow me through the ages...

With no change in sight..

And even if this is the path I choose...

I know not if I can even return...

And on the other side...

Lies the unknown world...

Freedom from that which has given me some

And taken so much more...

To Gather my pride and walk away...

To begin another search for prosperity...

Another Gap in my road to salvation

And I stand here in the middle...

Lost beyond all reconciliation...

With time as my only redeemer

With time as my only escape...

I look upon my reflection...

And spit upon the image that I have become...

I’ve blackened my own name...

I’ve made my choices...

And now I’ve paid the price...

When lies would have set me free...

The truth has damned me...

Yet again

Yet again...

Yet again...

The Path of A Dream

Wow, I never thought I would get it back so quickly... I've got something I'm quite happy with (And pissed about at the same time...) But I guess it's to be expected...

The Path of A Dream

All my life I have followed a dream…
A path that starts and ends only inside my mind…
Throughout the twists and turns of my heart…
And deep beyond the farthest reaches of my soul…
I have spent so many years following the dream…
My dream…
And where has it led me?
Where do I now stand…?
A new world, a new horizon…
But has anything truly changed…?
No…
My world has not changed…
Only my place in it has…
Such a world where people like me cannot exist…
My life lies upon a dream that will never come to pass…
My faith upon a life that will never live…
I believe in so much…
That these thoughts inside my head will guide me…
But to what?
Is it salvation?
Is it damnation?
Am I on the road to freedom?
Or simply to my end…?
What is it that I was meant to do?
Am I destined for greatness?
Or am I doomed merely to exist?
I do not have the will to simply be…
I do not have the skill to forge my destiny…
I do not have the strength to change this world…
And so what must I do now…
The Crimson Dreamer…
Destined to do great things…
Following the never ending faith in his heart…
And for what?
and why…?
When does the dream become more than just a dream…?
When does faith become reality…
Does it ever rise beyond a foolish optimism?
I will never know these answers…
And so I will walk down a new path…
One that leads to the same as all the others…
My unknown destination…
Where the truth behind my life will be…
For now I must face what lies around…
New people…
New places…
But what does this mean?
Is it really a second chance?
Or is it just another crowd?
One that will condemn and deceive me…
Just like the ones before them…
Is this life?
Is this what is destined to all who cannot walk a path of valor?
Of Wisdom?
Or of greatness?
Are we to deceive ourselves until the ends of time?
Am I all that is left of the graceful world?
I will never understand…
Just as those around me will never understand…
What it is to simply exist…
Without purpose…
Without Destiny…
Without a future…
And so I will wander through the ages of man…
Seeking that which can never be found…
Both Tangible, and in the depths of my imagination…
Such has been, and will be this life…
As no man can ever truly find himself…
When his entire life follows the path of a dream…

Back again!

Greetings from UMD! It's been FOREVER since I've written anything, but I've had some new things to think about... and I just wanted to write something... Not one of my better pieces.. but I'm happy to get something out, and it wasn't a bitch to do either... ^_^

It's like 1:30 so I'm not gonna name this once...

Chaotic life, the one we live…
In every single way…
For all the faith that we should give…
To see a brand new day…
What we are we think must be…
Perspective at a glance…
But some will find new life to see…They get a second chance…
I’m walking down a different path…
A new world to discover…
I’ve found my self beyond the wrath…
Of searching for another…
Beyond the moments long ago…
Beyond the pain so great…
Beyond the ties I used to know…
Beyond my brother Fate…
Embracing what is new around…
This place I now call home...
And while I haven’t left the ground…
My sprit’s free to roam…
The freedom that I once longed for
The peace I dreamt I’d find…
The life I once again adore…
New friends of many kind…
I’ve seen this world with different eyes…
Not trapped inside my past…
To glance upon the different skies…
As time goes by so fast…
So here’s to this, my second road…
Here’s to what’s ahead…
Here’s to what is not foretold…
By life that I don’t dread…
Here’s to what will come to me…
In all that I will do…
Here’s to finally being free…
And Here’s to meeting you…

The Road Ahead...

...


And so the road stretches before me once again...
That endless road that stretches beyond all horizons...
Beyond all boundries...
Beyond space and time...
I know where this road goes...
Not to peace or to freedom...
Not to love or desire...
Only to nothing...
It never truly ends...
but one thing is for sure...
I am the only soul to walk this empty road...
and so I'll pick up my feet...
and begin the same old broken journey...
As I creep across the lonely universe...
Following in the footsteps of my shattered heart...
Along this road there is no sky...
No sunset...
No stars to guide me in the times of peril...
Only the foolish hope that rests inside me...
The strength to carry through...
and the will to not take myself into the abyss...
I will follow this road til the end of my days...
Or until another girl leads me to stray away...
But in the end it's here that I will always be...
Falling through the cracks of this existence...
With each moment passing by into nothing...
Before I take the first step...
I take one last look at you...
You who blinded me from this road...
You who gave me a light to hold onto...
You who gave me stars to look up to...
You who gave me a purpose...
only to take it away...
Not because of who I am, or who you are...
But because I am simply not what you desire...
Yet you still lack the words to speak the truth
As it lurks in the unknown...
It matters not anymore...
The Blow has been struck...
and the innocence has been killed...
and so again to this bloody path I come...
With a fresh pair of fallen wings...
and a new despair to place upon my soul...
Another heart has passed me by...
Another soul has pushed me away...
and so with that I take my first step upon this road...
and return to the days of old...
With new tears and new pains to burden this life...
But I'll keep walking...
I always do...
Until the day that I can leave this place...
Not a void inside my heart...
But the place that I exist...
For the future does not want me here...
As does anyone else...
I'll walk an endless road...
If it will take me away from here...
If it will take me away from you...
So here is to another journey...
and to the road ahead...
Let it take me away from this place...
Deliver me and my emotions...
Deliver me and my pride...
Deliver me and my love...
Deliver me...

Go find your peace... and leave me to nothing...

Chaos

Yay I wrote something new! Here it is!

Chaos

What is this world I look upon
With temperance and mirth?
Knowledge now has come to mind
And new ideas to birth.

A shattered world upon this day
That crumbles by the hour
How else can any mortal say
These words not nearly sour?

Profit now a deity
As greed and power follow
In mind my faith dwindles in thee
Your hearts so deeply hollow

Yet, there is good in world atorn
That’s scattered far and wide
I do not cast this life in scorn
Yet heart and mind collide.

In emptiness I strive to bind...
Affection do I seek.
Yet scattered in this cluttered mind
A future not so bleak.

Standing tall with men alike
Dear friend and rivaled foe.
At brother Fate I seek to strike
To end this painful woe.

What is it here that plagues the soul?
This life, or world around?
Is it existence that I stole
That pins me to the ground?

With shattered wings I dare to fly
And shattered heart I care.
With shattered hope I dare to try
And shattered will I bear.

Yet all is not with troubled way
Good people stand with me
With them, this world is not so grey
A world I long to see.

New friends now walk upon this road
New strength upon these hands
And hope again has been bestowed
To free these troubled lands.

Yet still inside a better life
Are lies you never see.
Hold few of us that view this strife
The few of those like me.

I know not what will come of things
Or how life will unfold.
No matter what this future brings
The story will be told.

I’m still searching deep through time
To find another heart.
And find forgotten mirth sublime
As darkness shall depart.

Still searching for that fated hour...
I’ll find the heart that’s true...
I’ll find the one I’m looking for...
I’ll find her... I’ll find you...

Another

Well its morning, so it's time to post this on here...
It's the first thing I've written in a while. and theres nothing I'm trying to prove...
In fact, just like everything else I've written... I really don't expect it to make any sort of effect on anyone...I just wanted to vent... Enjoy it... it's one of the better poems I've written in quite a while and well... here it is

Another

I follow your eyes wherever I travel,
The voice in my heart.
Yet every moment slips away before I can take hold.
I want to live it... but life stands in my way.
I want to feel it... but still you turn away.
No one’s walked the empty halls of my heart,
Yet many have raced across the gears inside my head,
Only to crash upon the walls of reality
It can't be done...
Dreaming too much of a world with you,
And waking up to a life forever without...
I've gone too far,
Where no man dares to travel
When he seeks another heart
And as I struggle to dig my way out
It seems like the hole grows deeper
And just like anyone else
Your eyes upon the world
Searching for a soul to match your own
Or sealing the pain of betrayal behind a wall
That will always fall with time
I can only watch from far away
And never build those memories
You’ve saved for someone else.
I’m here to catch a fall
Yet I’m still here among the ranks of men
Branded for crimes I’ll never commit
I’ll burn at the stake with my brethren
For sharing the loins of my fellow man
And as I hang with these fools and deserters
I’ll never lose a smile
And laugh away my fate
Will I never know of those two eyes?
That glance back only at my face
But into the heart of a traitor...
It’s hard to watch your heart set ablaze.
And it’s hard to watch you build that wall
Time and time again
But I’ll always give a helping hand
To rescue you from the ashes
And I’ll always help you build that wall
And wait until it crashes
And all along I’ll say not one word
As I bring you back to your feet
But as days go by I wonder
Will it ever have a chance?
So many others out there
Looking back at you
I don’t know if you know it...
But I’m looking back too
They say that for everyone there is another
But I know right now.
It’s not another I would want
It’s you and only you...

New work

Ehh... people dont read this much anymore... but I want this up incase I change my Myspace anytime soon...

Beckoned into the future...
Summoned into the past...
My heart stretches and slowly tears...
As Time crashes together inside my soul...
I am torn by the moments that I once held so dear...
By the Pain that has tormented my life through the ages...
And by the ever shifting sands of Fate...
Where do I take my next step?
Do I turn my back on the past that I loved so much?
Do I submit to a pain that has left me scarred?
Do I try to conquer the ever fickle power of Fate?
What must I do? What can I do?
To find the future I seek?
No longer bound by a word or emotion...
Simply the answers I seek... and the happiness I desire...
No longer is it love... no longer is it Destiny...
The Essence that drives me towards the truth...
I live my life following these principles...
but where my future ends...
I do not know if their paths will cross...
Is it Love that shall first cross my path?
Or is it purpose that shall take me by the hand?
I seek both as I glimpse into a sky of midnight...
Yet find neither as I glimpse into the abyss above...
Is this life just an endless paradox?
The search for answers brings only more questions...
Some that I can answer...
Others that no man has the key to...
Where shall the dreams that exist inside lead me?
Where shall the wings that push me into the depths of tomorrow lead me next?
Who shall I meet? What shall I discover?
What is my purpose... Who is my love?
Do they intertwine? Or are they upon seperate roads...
Will I have to choose between the two?
Questions Questions Questions...
A life riddled with the engima of curiosity...
Such is the life of a Dreamer such as I...
Never satisfied with the status quoe....
I shall find something... some day...
This I know to be true...
Is it what I seek?
That is simply another question...
So many Keys...
Yet none fit the door...
But I will find the one...
That opens the gateway...
Into the Future...
Until then...
I stand tall...
I stand ready...
I stand Here and now...
Ready to Face the burden I know lies ahead...
For Pride and Purpose...
For Love and Freedom...
For Truth...
For Faith...
For Me...