I am...

Wow... this came out of nowhere... but It's not too bad... enjoy!

I am a drifter… lost and free…
Able to forge my destiny...
There never was a home for me...
A Drifters dream to win…
I am a demon… cunning and cruel…
Cutting my path to nobodies rule…
Here to prove that man is a fool…
A Demons dream to sin…
I am a soldier… born to fight…
Save the world… with all my might…
No evil shall escape my sight…
A Soldiers dream to die…
I am a Dreamer… seeking another...
Tired of torment from my evil brother…
Destiny or Love… it’s one or the other…
A Dreamers dream to fly…
I am a pilot… soaring the skies…
When they reach my sights… the enemy dies…
Never to hear my adversaries cries…
A Pilots dream to soar…
I am a fallen… ending my life…
Sick of existence… this tedious strife…
No tears are falling as I hold the knife…
A Fallen dreams no more…
I am an artist… starving for more…
Painting my path as I open the door…
Piece by piece my ideas shall soar…
An Artists dream to inspire…
I am Revolution… born to change…
Chaos and Violence… I shall rearrange…
Across the world shall my voice be in range…
Revolutions dream to set fire…
I am a loser… fallen in pain...
Walking my path with an endless rain…
Asking myself if my life is in vain…?
A Loser dream to love…
I am me… that’s all I can say…
Strong and weak in many a way…
I hope to meet with you someday…
My Dream... to rise above…

Maybe Someday... Maybe not...

Another new piece... Enjoy...

Maybe Someday...
*This piece has been removed... sick of trying... sick of failing... I give up...*
No more words I can speak... my path has been chosen...

Just wanted to add this again! lol I needed a bigger one so! 

Just a background I wanted to Put up... I made this with Photoshop... It's not that good but I tried! ^_^ 

The Path...

Wow... after 2 months of silence... it's finally come back to me... I've got those gears in my head moving again... and I finally wrote something! ^_^

The Path - The Return of the Crimson Dreamer...

I have fallen from my path… so much has happened… so much has changed since those simple days… the world has be come a different place… and I have begun to drift away from the people that I have grown to care about… Those people… that I strived so hard to be accepted by… to be cared by… to be loved by… suddenly my eyes open to their world… I see the truth of what they are now… Beyond the faces I see when the days roll by… I see what happens when the sun goes down… it is a belligerent world… full of lust… and greed… and while I have not abandoned these people… I have turned my back to them… but that is my moment of triumph… Here… in the present… I feel I have lost my soul… in the struggle to find another heart… I feel that I have given up that which has blessed… and cursed my existence… emotion… as the last few months have come and gone… I have cast that side of me aside… to hold the foundation that I have found… the stability that seems to exist… When I let go of the emotion… and just live my life… and yet… while life has been much easier… and conflict doesn’t seem to spark… I have lost my way… For the Dreams no longer flow from my heart… and my mind is befuddled with the riddles of this “normal” life… As happy as I am to hold the friendships I have reclaimed… and as close as things may seem to finding love… Must I give up my eyes to live this simple life? Have I lost the will to feel? Have I lost the will to Experience…? Have I lost the will… to Dream…? It is what has defined who I am for the last 6 years… and it has been my driving force for my entire life… can I just push it away like this? What happened to the days of searching for Chronia…? What happened to the boasts of Hawk Dynedockia… In the spite of Fate… and the Obsidian Eye of K’wal N’oz The’li… What happened to those days…? My story… my life… my Dream… has it all been spirited away? Have I let go of what has let me live through the malediction of my life? No… I cannot… I will not… So many new faces litter my path through life… some take the side of society… and others follow a similar path… and the more I see this world… the more I see that there are more Dreamers here than I ever imagined… The Heart and Soul of our planet resides in the eyes of these precious few… Who have opened their eyes to their own Destiny… and who look towards their own vision of the Crimson Dream… Many have wings to fly with… and yet many of them have fallen like myself… endlessly searching the plains of existence… only to find a broken heart… time and time again… and yet even in these fallen souls… There is still a fragment of hope… for all is not lost… through endurance… through optimism… through faith… each of us have our own way of walking the path… and surviving the pain that troubles our everyday lives… We each have a different road to travel… we each have a different eyes to see the world… and we each hear a different beat to dance the song of life… No existence is the same… no matter how similar each may seem… The path stretches differently for each of us… and Cross they shall… and intertwine they shall as well… Each journey to that point is different… and where each of them shall reach cannot even be seen by The Master of Time… Destiny is a fickle mistress… and there are very few who live to answer her call… I once did… but now I see this path for what it truly is… not a path to Glory… or Salvation… but a path to the truth… to truly see the world from a Dreamer’s perspective… and live the life that I was meant to live… it is not about what I become… what I accomplish… or what I find along the way… Sometimes it is what you do that defines you… but It is always who you are inside your heart… the song that each of us sings as Time goes Marching on… It is your heart that defines you… your soul… the emotions that guide you… that is what defines us… I see it once again… my path… my journey… my dreams… They have returned to me… The Crimson Dreamer is what I am called… and I almost lost my title… without it I would have been lost… but now… Inside my heart… I can see those Dreams again… My Story… My Legend… My Prophecy…

...
Let There be Freedom...

And Peace in This Land...

I shall Swear by My Dreams That...

This Darkness Shall End...

Fate is a Demon...

He'll pay for this Crime...!

And I'm NOT just a Dreamer...

I'm...

...

The MASTER OF TIME!!!!!

Im back...

Things are better... so at some point I'm gonna start writing again... Not sure when... I've been busy with work, and I've been in a slump lately... so when I get the chance I'll write again... until then!

Hiatus...

I'm going on hiatus for a while... I have some things that have to be done... I'll still write, but things aren't going up here...

Truth...

New Work...

Truth...

What do you do when the world fades to black? Where do you go when the winter comes falling down… and there’s no where left to go? Where do you stand as the walls around you tumble to the ground…? Who do you cry on when everyone around you turns away? How do you live when you are surrounded by death? Who do you love… when your world turns to hate? Lost… Drifting… Falling… Dreaming… Being… Living… Freedom… So many words… All of which I use every day of this life… Lost inside the trap I have created in my mind… Drifting into each passing day as the sun slowly sinks below the horizon… Falling further into the depths of my soul… Dreaming of the days when I can look back on life and see how truly wonderful it is… Being able to catch my fallen brethren… Living life… one day at a time… Freedom… the one thing in life… that is unattainable… Fate controls all… governs all… and yet even in our doomed slavery… we are still free to make our choices… Love… Happiness… Anger… Pain… all of it is under our control… I can see this now… with vision undistorted… My life… it is mine to control… no matter what Fate forges to be my destiny… I know here… now… that I don’t need to look for my true friends… I don’t need to seek out my allies… because they are here… with me… all of them… I know now the truth… that none of them were ever in any doubt… and that all this time… after being so lost in the conflict… trapped in the confusion… on the brink of the void… that even in my despair… they are here to stand by me… and even when the world is without hope… and the sky is without stars… and the world around us is shattered with the malice that is this life… We are here… standing tall together… ready to face whatever my Brother decides to stand in our path… but even in our triumphant cry… Even in the power that we share… Even in the love that we share for each other… in the brotherhood of friendship… I fear that my heart has made breaks in our chain… I feel too much in this world… a surge of emotion… an endless wave of the heart… It brings my joy atop the highest of the heavens… and it brings my sorrow to the depths of existence… and in my soul it embraces the spirit that has been inside me for so many years… and Channels the energy that has been dormant inside me for such a long time… I no longer fear life… I no longer fear the whim of Rathios… and yet… my world is still empty… and my path is still lonely… I thought I had embraced the winds of love… but I know now that this is not so... I have still yet to feel that warmth...and in my search I have made a fool of them… I have made a fool of myself… and even in the blunders of my life… I know that they will stand by me… and yet I still cannot help but feel like I have made so many mistakes… so many contradictions in my being… So many broken promises… I feel like I have betrayed them… in deceiving myself… I have overlooked so much… I have forgotten so much… I need to let go… of all this grief… of all this strife… Where has the happiness gone? Where has the optimism fled too? Where has the positivism fallen? I embrace my emotions… for they define my spirit… yet… even I cannot comprehend them in their purest form… and I am no master of the spirit… it is difficult to control my emotions… for it is a fickle element to restrain… Destiny… what truly is Destiny? I have always believed it to be man’s potential… but is it? Is it what we are able to achieve? Or is it the quota we put on ourselves… Destiny is a path to perfection… one that no being can ever obtain… Dreams… the essence of the soul… it is through our dreams that we find our hope… Hope is the one truly static entity in this world… for throughout the ages… hope has never died… Love… Love is only a word… a word I have used far too much in my life… It is the one thing I seek more than anything else… but why? Why is it that I must feel this emotion? Is it because it is the one that I have not experienced yet? Or is it that I am in need to fill the hole in my life? Love itself… is empty… void… of meaning and of thought… love is in the eyes of who wields it… and one’s love can be simply affection to another… and the sweet embrace of one can be the reason to live for another… One cannot gauge love… for each of us has different ways of expressing it… of feeling it… of giving it… and of taking it… I have love for each and everyone one of my friends… a love that shall never falter to the will of fate… anger may close my eyes… and pain may blind my heart… but I love each and every one of you… with all my heart and soul… and of all the empty promises I have made… and all the broken contradictions of my life… I know… in the depths of my being… that I love all of you… Love in itself is a meaningless word… yet… in my life… it is the value I give to those who I care about most… Those precious few… who I have stood by my side through the ages… and those who have just joined the path… Your spirits… your courage… your patience… and your compassion… have brought me to this point in my life… I am a loner…and now I finally realize that… as much as I seek the love of another… I know that… at least at this point in my life… I am destined to be alone… and even in this loneliness… I am not truly alone… for all of you are in my heart… and I may lose sight of that… but in my core… I know it to be true… Your friendships keep me alive and well… your happiness brings me joy… and your courage gives me strength… I pass my spirit onto you… and although you do not share the same emotion… I know that you are grateful… as I have been for you… So what do I do when my world fades to black? Where do I go when the winter comes falling down… and there’s no where left to go? Where do I stand as the walls around me tumble to the ground…? Who do I cry on when everyone around me turns away? How do I live when I am surrounded by death? Who do I love… when my world turns to hate? I come before you… my champions… my heroes… my friends… you… all of you… and with your hearts and mine… we shall stand tall to face the wrath of my brother… Let there be freedom… and peace in this land… and I swear by my dreams that this darkness shall end… This Fate is a demon… he’ll pay for his crime… and I’m NOT just a Dreamer… I’m…

A New Chapter...

Wow... it's been a year since I started this site... and began this part of my journey... I want to remember this day... but alas I have no time to write about it right now... I will write something tomorow and add it...

Heres to a new chapter in The Chronicles of the Crimson Dreamer...

The Odyssey

My latest piece... quite happy with this one... wasn't expecting to write it so soon... but w/e

Enjoy...

The Odyssey

And so begins the odyssey… the journey that I shall take into my mind… to explore the emotions inside my heart… I have been preparing for so long… trying to prove myself… Fighting for those whom I love… I have come so far… it’s finally beginning to change… my life… my world… it’s becoming so clear… No longer just a sparkle in the night… The light shines high above my head… and I face the darkness that drifts just below… This life… it is no longer one of conflict… of strife… of pain… I see the world now… I see with opened eyes once more… I feel the freedom that once blessed my heart… I feel the joy echo through my soul… I am ready now… and so I take the dive… and enter my mind… Such a different world… torn apart by the emotion of my life… There are so many thoughts… so many ideas… so many dreams racing across the horizon… it is so amazing… to see what lies inside here… I can feel the emotions that I have embraced all my life… and even so, I can still see the fight that I face every day… The constant battle with darkness and light… good and evil… Joy and Sorrow… And yet I continue to fight... although I cannot see what the future holds for me… and I do not know what lies ahead down my path… I am more certain now… than any moment before in this life… I feel free… no longer bound by the chains of life… No longer trapped in the will of Fate… I am free… to do as I please… to fly where my wings will take me… Wings… I finally have them… and I can see myself… transforming into the being that I have always desired to become… My ascension begins here… with you… You have been in my mind for quite some time now… since the day I met you… I thought you were different… special… and now my heart has blossomed once again… and for the first time in my life… I’ve felt those feelings come back… I’ve embraced the winds of love… I’ve freed myself of this void… I do not know where our paths shall go… but I hope that I may share mine with you… This is the first side… the beginning of my emotions… Joy… Happiness… Freedom… This is what I have become now… After so many years… this side of me has finally awoken once again… My inner child… my inner being… my essence… that has been locked away for so many years… has finally been released… Life is no longer a search… a meaningless quest to find a light I thought I could never seek… I’ve found it… and I am happy once again… I do not feel the strife that has toiled my soul for so many years… the scars upon my body have begun to heal… and slowly fade away… It brings joy to my heart to know that I am no longer afraid… of the life that may never come… and the happiness I’d never find… for it’s here… after all my searching… all my dreaming… all the tears in the night… and the pain I’ve had to suffer… after all the friends I’ve gained and lost… and those precious few I would defend to the death… I’ve found my resolution… and so I must delve deeper… into my soul I must go… Into the past… a place I would dare not travel… for even now it still haunts the deepest recesses of my soul… but I must continue… every path must have a valley… and with the strength that I have gained… I feel that I am ready… and so I dive deeper into the mind… The present slowly falls away… and I am now in a world of the past… I can see myself once again… lost… with shattered wings… and broken dreams… I see a boy… not a man… a boy… lost in the struggle of his life… caught between the pain given to him by those around him… and the conflict that rests inside himself… This was my time… and although it scars me to know what has happened to me in the past… the innocence that was raped from this child… I know now… after so many years have passed… It had to be done… the tears… the sorrow… the pain… have made him stronger… have made me stronger… Even here I can feel the pain of the past… the burden that has haunted me for such a long time… but I know now… these were the trials that I had to face… so that I could look inside myself… and find the dream that has given me this undying hope… I know the despair that lies in the past… I know the loneliness… and the emptiness that plagued my childhood… I know the pain that I felt when I locked myself away… when I had no one else to turn to… It all seems worth it now… For I do not know the kind of man I would have become if it weren’t for these trials… Yes they hurt me deeply… and yes I still feel the repercussions today… but I am stronger… wiser… happier now… because of that… These hands that have forged so many Dreams… and shaped so many lives… They have truly made a difference in those lives whom I love… Although I have brought on conflict in the past… I feel like I have changed their lives… as they have changed mine… I no longer need to fear the past… I no longer need to fear the pain… I walk to myself… a child… lost in a sea of tears… and give him the embrace that he has longed for… I feel the innocence that had been stripped away… the joy that was defiled into sorrow… and the Apathy of life that was reshaped into a universe of emotion… I am thankful now… for everything that has happened to me… but yet still I must delve… into the depths of my soul… where my secrets… and my dreams lie… and so I dive deeper… into the darkness… into the void… and yet… as I continue to fall… I can see light approaching… and as I cross the threshold… I am blinded by it… here… in the deepest corners of the soul… lies the Dream that started my path… Here I stand before Hawk Dynedockia… Lord of Chronia… Master of Time… The Great Crimson Blade of Dreams, Shi’Te’Ku in his hand… this… this is my destiny… I stand before the being I have always wanted to become… even now… a woman stands by his side… Mana… This is the life I have always wanted to live… and this is the hope that has always brought me from the darkness… I put my hand out… trying to give a feeling to something never thought to be tangible… their hands meet mine… and so many thoughts race across my head… the Past… Present… and Future… all combined into this moment… Time has no meaning here… This world is forged by emotion… and brings light even in my darkest hour… it is here that I have retreated too… here in the depths of my soul… You are my hero… and as I speak those words… I shake my head… confused… I point to the figure behind me… I turn around… and here… here of all places… I see you… standing tall... I point to you… I walk towards myself… Two entities… One dream… Our hands meet once more… and a great flash of light envelopes us… the light clears away… and now only one remains… it is I… The true Crimson Dreamer… The embodiment of both… This is the person I truly wish to become… Master of both worlds… of both lives… This is the Destiny… My Destiny… I walk again towards those eyes… towards you… you look back at me… with those curious eyes… I reach out towards you… and you towards me… our hands embrace… and I look again into those eyes… where yet another world resides… I am truly happy… now… and as I fall lost into the spheres of your world… I realize now… it is you… who is my Hero... it is you who has let me seen the side of me that I have always thought lost to Fate… it is you who has let me embrace the winds of Love… and it is you who has looked into the eyes of The Crimson Dreamer… and found the truth… You embraced me… you smiled at me… You are my wings… and You have forever changed this world of mine… Now the Odyssey is complete… I feel myself awaken from the Trance… My journey is complete… My soul is at peace… and my life is finally down another path… The path of both Dreamer… and Destiny… I am both… My name is Matthew J. Casartello… and inside my soul rests the human Chronius… the personification of my life… and the greatest warrior Time has ever known… the Chronian, Hawk Dynedockia… This is me… this is everything… this is the man that I have become… and I am proud to share this life with all of you… Thank you… everyone…