Sonnet I

Lol, I figured, what the hell... so Im gonna start writing sonnets

Sonnet I
With each passing day my trust fades away...
Rising and setting with each passing friend...
Unsure if it will see another day...
Wondering still if this may be the end...
I've been lied to and hurt too many times...
Yet with this truth my spirits are still low...
As life beckons and takes away its rhymes...
With pain inside it's still the truth I know...
Yet if I embrace obvious deceit...
And let my heart soar in this happiness...
Friendships thought lost I shall merilly greet...
I shall not worry on fixing this mess...
Here is to my naivity inside...
With friendship strong the darkness cannot hide!

Fuck it...

If being naive makes me happy... then so be it... *raises glass* Here's to being naive... may deceit bring me happiness... and one day honesty...

Two things

I wrote this before... for an old friend...

The clock ticks forward day by day…
And my mind is still so far away…
In the world at which I want to be…
To continue to forge my destiny…
But something crossed my path in a way…
That brought sunlight to a cloudy day…
In my aching heart deep down inside…
In the old void where my dreams collide…
There were no more clouds and no more rain…
No more sadness and no more pain…
So now I am free of that terrible place…
And who do I thank? Who’s the one I embrace?
The girl who showed me the stars tonight…
And helped me escape my lonely blight…
Who is the girl that I’m talking about?
Take a wild guess… you’ll figure it out…
Called an Angel by them for the things that she did….
But to me, she is rascally known as “Kid”…
Kid I’ve admired for so many years…
As I recovered my soul, and overcame fears…
She has changed my world, the girl that I love…
My only true link to the stars up above…
The world is a desolate place without her…
But she is the answer, she is the cure…
To the worst of pains; a broken heart…
Cracked open wide… and torn apart…
With her laugh and her smile the pain is gone…
And with that the darkness withers to dawn…
I dream of a day when you’re by my side…
Hand in hand on our wings we will stride…
It is only a dream… as much as that sucks…
The idea causes my emotions to flux…
But again Kid is there, and she has the brass…
To give what I needed… a good kick in the ass…
She woke me up from that evil nightmare…
And awoke me into a place where…
That dream doesn’t matter if comes or not…
Because our friendship exists and that matters a lot…
I drift through the ages dreaming of you…
With soul so pure… and heart so true…
And of the day that finally she…
Will find her wings and fly with me…
From a lonely world that writhes in pain…
Away from the clouds… away from the rain…
To an Azure sky… and a Golden sun…
This dream to me has more than begun…
It is real to me… as the life that I live…
The air that I breathe… and the feelings I give…
So what do I see as I turn to the sky…?
I see us… up there… flying high…
With the wind in our faces… and the stars up above…
The clouds at our feet… and our hearts filled with love…
We’d race across oceans… We’d drift in the breeze…
We’d soar up the mountains… with our souls at ease…
Nothing else matters when I’m at her side…
Just the song in my heart… and my eyes opened wide….
To the dreams in my soul that one day we may share…
In this whole new world that I’ve started to dare…
To dream of a future… where Fate is dead…
What a beautiful thing I’ve got in my head…
You’ve taught me so much in the last 4 years…
But there’s one thing you taught me that brings me to tears…
No matter what happens… I believe in you…
Because the way that I see it… Dreams really come true…

And now that dream is gone... and so I've written this...

It’s over now... the end is here...
The worst has happened, just as I feared...
Love has been lost, and friendship wanes...
No one is left to comfort my pains...
I don’t know what happened, how this came to pass...
But now it is gone... shattered like glass...
I was once in love with you...
Forever yours... through and through...
You said you were a friend of mine...
But now I see that is a lie...
All of it was, right from the start...
And so you've gone and torn up my heart...
I thought you were special, I thought you were kind...
You ended despair, and mended my mind...
You meant the world to this shattered soul...
The key for me to become whole...
My life was lost... and you brought me back...
You protected me from societies attack...
I thought you had generosity...
A thing I considered destiny...
Now I know how you really feel...
Ignorance... I’m no big deal...
Just a fool with a heart that you can ignore...
Cast me aside... throw me away...
I’ll just have to wait another day...
More time for me to drown in my tears...
Fall to my fate... and succumb to my fears...
You mark me with your sympathy...
It’s absolutely nothing to me...
I care not for pity; I’m not a fool...
You think you’re so great... you think you’re so cool...
I would have given everything... even die... its true...
But my sacrifice would mean nothing to you...
You wouldn’t remember... not even care...
It’d be just as if I was never there...
So I’ve given up on the quest for your love...
You’ve burned my stars... in the skies high above...
You were everything I ever dreamed for...
But dreams do not come true anymore...

Ding! 

NOTICE

Okay, since people are getting confused, I might as well put this up

****TWO PEOPLE SUBMIT WRITING ON THIS SITE****
Pay attention to the author of the post, If The post is by "DeMarcus" It's Javier. If it's posted by The Crimson Dreamer. Then It's me. Just trying to prevent confusion.

Emtional Disdain

(This was written for a friends in college who i never see anymore...MISS YA ALREADY LIZ AND JOHN!)

From life dawn to dusk
We’ll see our lives in its end
For there was no end to our camaraderie
We recalled our times when we initially met
From simple lives of reading mangas aloud
To staring at the sky above form a refuse container
We shared a year of close contact for a year
But need of higher learning pulled you away
Left broken, I had to pull pieces of our memories together…
I heard you came by locale to see relatives
I was sad you did not call upon me
Days passed, with no hope of my eyes upon you
Then, a new moon brought me contentment
My respite was found in your wisdom
Although it made me feel inferior
I felt warm among your presence
We did as much as any could
I still feel it wasn’t enough
The last day in which we spoke was a meaningful day
Because that was when I knew, I see you again
Although I know you’ll be gone for a while…
Remember, “Shinjite Iru Cara”

Dedicated to my close friend, comedian, and poet… Liz Ryan

Seasons vol. 2

boo ya! okay i reveled more facts about everyone and extra stuff that my friends can figure out... here

Summer Starting Anew (season’s unchanged vol. 2) by: Javier “DeMarcus” Guevara

I remember this time; it was the time when things were still within my grasp. I have only just met her, and we were on a friend basis. The sun was warm, the trees and the fauna were in full bloom. The days were long without classes at Tokyo U, and they seemed even longer with the sun resisting to fall like many other innocent days, it was a time when I still had my so called “normal” life. Everything and everyone I had were all a part of my boring life.
I remember my last day of classes; she and I were waiting to meet at the pond after we were dismissed by our professors. I could care less what my teacher had to say on my last class, because finals were done, and I knew I did well. I wouldn’t have to see him anymore. Well, at least not in school anymore. (Unless I took organic chemistry)
Oh I rejoiced as any person would when they hear parting words from a professor or an institution, even if only temporary. (Still had another year left in me) I don’t know how, but even though I was in the second row, I was the last one out of the door. Embarrassing really, but not as embarrassing as the parting words of my professor. Throughout my years of comprehension of educating systems, I expected cliché’ expressions like “good job” or “looks like I’ll see you next year” with a malevolent chuckle. Now of all times, he decided to break all ties of professionalism and tell me to take care of her daughter. It seemed like he really held me in high regard to his daughter, but it seemed like he was the only one. Maybe it was because he really got to know me through teaching or maybe because I really tried in his class and didn’t have anything bad to say about him. Whatever it was, it made me feel good.
It was noon; in fact the moon was in the highest placement I’ve ever seen in all my years of reality. The sun decided to hang over me particularly, like a lonesome watchman. All I can remember thinking was that this was the best time if ever to get a chance to see she would start a closer relationship. Of course, there was nothing I could do, other than trying to wing it. I said that to myself because that’s who I was, and she wouldn’t want anything (or anyone) else.
Finally, around 12:45, she came over the bridge to our unique place. We called it… M’iel. It was our little world, because no one ever came here for some reason, and it had really exotic plants from around the world. We made it our duty to keep them alive, since they were put there by some seniors who wanted a quick A on a project. Then they never took care of them again. (Bastards) Some died regardless, because they were planted lazily, (dumbasses) or because they just weren’t supposed to be in this kind of climate. (Jackasses)
It was a beautiful summer, we were close, and yet we had our distance. We both saw that our friendship was growing a bit more rapidly than we expected. We would always see each other every day, yet we never had a dull moment. I would have to call on one of our best days, it was a Saturday in July, and we decided to see a play. We didn’t care what kind, because we just wanted to go just so we could see if we could enjoy it like most other adults do. A childish excuse yes, but a reason none the less. The truth was we loved it. It was a gothic play, with themes of love, sacrifice, and honor. (It had vampires and angels too!) We decided that we’d write our own, and someday… Live it.
If I wasn’t with her, she was off to her grandfather’s house. It was a long trip, but I had a job, so I only went when my schedule allowed it. I remember that her grandfather was just as tolerant as her father was. He lived an hour away from the city, in the countryside where life seemed to stand still in a chrono freeze, like the lush forest in the crisp winter. Life didn’t affect that prefecture, for all I know, the world could have been brought to its knees, and I would not have known. When we stayed there, we would have pleasure just writing, reading, and sitting out, looking around and talking to each other. Then, like all good times, the summer was reaching an end without warning.
We decided we’d spend a late night in our distant world of M’iel. We met around 10, where the only people in the general vicinity were people on a walk through the night for their own reasons of self discovery. The university had a way of doing that. I knew that the world was away now; I would finally see what she wanted with our relationship. We sat under a tree, and talked like we always did, but then, she came to me under the tree and said that there’s more for us to do in the upcoming seasons. I opened myself to speak words of comfort to help the feelings she expressed to me. She interrupted my words with a far more meaningful expression. She pressed her lips upon mine, as I felt a giant release from my anguish of greed.
The summer was over at the end of this night, and as the moon faded farther, the summer was officially at a close. We decided we’d remember every season by doing something meaningful we’d remember forever. This summer we decided to leave ourselves in this land, now and forever away from all those who judged us. Instead of destroying the tree by engraving into the bark like other typical lovers did, we left a plant, nurtured by ourselves, that way we grew it only out of love for each other.
We left a little sign for all… It said…

Our Summer Dream,
Apollo
+
Quistis

Story By: DeMarcus

The Fallen

My latest piece... It's broken two of my records... one for the most amount of lines... (and being my longest poem), and being one of if not the most depressing thing I've ever written...

What can I say.... enjoy?

The shadows linger as the light fades away...

Never to see another day...

With Fate to laugh upon despair...

Empty love that is never there...

Walking earth I dwell alone...

Life is such a painful moan...

Darkness in lives... Darkness in deaths...

Darkness resides... as we drift through the depths...

Friendships are broken... Dreamers are lost...

Death to the fallen... no matter the cost...

Shattered and broken we fall to our doom...

A void of emptiness and gloom...

It is life for these people... people like me...

Never to face our destiny...

Forever trapped inside the shell...

Caught in wastelands of an endless hell...

The struggle we face lies deep within...

And the outer world corrupt with sin...

Up we look and watch for you...

The key for us to pass on through...

To a forgotten place... your wonderful life...

Void of our pain and void of our strife...

You bask in your glory as we drown in sorrow...

You embrace your today and we hope for tomorrow...

You rob our emotion... all we have left...

Is this void in our hearts... An ominous cleft...

I now know there is nothing to escape from this place...

Only hide this existence under the face...

Hidden from the world we know...

For it is only here that we can show...

The warmth I have in this dark hole...

As it plagues my mind and tortures my soul...

It may ruin my being day after day...

But now I realize that it is my way...

To have fallen this far... there is no way out...

Only a glimpse of a world without...

This void that has buried me inside my mind...

Maybe someday I’ll be able to find...

Not the key, or a door... but the answers I seek...

To the questions inside... of which I speak...

What is inside my fallen Dreams?

Is love really the way it seems?

What is my true Destiny...?

Will I find my Identity...?

Where exactly is my faith...?

Is it my mind where I am safe...?

So many questions... with nothing to find...

Just the emptiness inside my mind...

I feel my emptiness inside...

I’ve lost my dignity.. and lost my pride...

I’ve lost my Love... and my trust too...

I’ve lost my hope... and I’ve lost you...

What left do I have in this empty heart...?

Without a hope... I’ll fall apart...

Without a pride... I’ll have nothing to face...

Without a dignity I am a disgrace...

Without a Love I have less than before...

And Without you... nothing to Dream for...

I have nothing now inside my soul...

Just this void... this empty hole...

I look to you to live for tomorrow...

While I still have my guidance that you can still follow...

Do not turn around... don’t even look back...

For you have the promises that I’ll always lack...

You may feel my sorrow and for this you may wait...

As I hate to admit... your far too late...

Do not cry for me... for tears burn my face...

For Fallen am I to reach such a place...

Do not Dream for me for it will not come true...

For a Dreamer am I to craft thoughts of you...

Do not Love for me... for Love is a lie...

To rob me of your starlit sky...

Do not live for me... for you’ll see a new day...

For Death am I... to send you away...

To live your life as happiness declares...

Not to delve and fret in my sad affairs...

Never to stand tall once more...

Never to mend my broken core...

Never to embrace the warmth of love...

Never to finally rise above...

A Pic of my room ... I guess... (my arm moved while taking a pic. Like the wrestling Poster? = P 

I made this picture using photoshop (Thanks a lot Jav!) Jav helped me a lot, 1 by teaching me how to use ps. and he helped me with the text, and the picture in the middle. The swords are from before (I redid the model again, and Im probably gonna redo them again... I found a sword model that looks EXACTLY how I wanted The blades to look)